“I’ll be some next man’s other woman soon…”-word to Amy Winehouse
New York City is home of the perpetual first date.
Never in my entire life have I had such ease of dating as I have had in the city of millions that has far better things to do than to sleep. To say I get at least one number every time I go out is not a statement of ego or a proclamation of my beauty and charm (although to be clear I am both beautiful and charming). It’s simply stating facts. It’s pretty easy out in here these concrete jungle streets to meet men.
All types of men.
Wait. It’s been so long since I’ve written here…you’re probably a little confused. Zette (c’est moi) has made the big move to New York City. I am a New New Yorker. The Southern Girl has taken her feminine wiles way way way above the Mason Dixon line and has replanted herself in the city where dreams come true.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…where was I? Ah yes…men. I probably have a harder time trying to figure out how exactly the subway works than I do meeting gentleman. And I do mean all types of gentlemen…”entrepreneurs,” artists, musicians, students, businessmen, Black, White, Hispanic…I mean do I need to go on.
At any given function men and women pair off to have the superficial “getting to know you” conversations that subsequently result in the exchange of cards or the entry of phone numbers into smartphones. A couple of texts or phone calls later and the first date is scheduled. Boy picks place (or in my experience I pick place). Girl gets all dolled up for whatever the night holds. Boy and girl meet up at the destination and BAM the first date is progress. Date may or may not go well. Boy drives girl home. Boy is not invited up for a night cap, but girl does resign to give him a kiss in the car. Girl skips up her steps and boy drives off into the moonlight. Boy and girl may exchange a couple more texts, but don’t necessarily solidify plans for a second date. Girl goes to another function and the first date cycle begins again.
My friends that live here warned me that,”New York is a dating City.” Hearing that and living it are two completely different experiences. It is both intriguing and quite frankly exhausting. It takes a certain patience and mindset to be constantly engaged in the getting to know your process at my age. I spent my 20s happily single and free and while I love the freedom of my singlehood, quite frankly at 30 years old…I’m not really sure how many more first dates I’m really interested in going on right now.
Wait. Could that be Zette talking…Miss Embrace Your Singleness and Enjoy the Hell Out of Every Second Of It. Yes? Yes it’s her. I’m not turning my back on my singleness either. What I’m saying is…
I don’t know what I’m saying actually. Could it be that I’m ready for something more sustainable. Or perhaps I’d like to slow the dating merry-go-round down a bit. How about a second and or third date?
Hmm…
