I have been throwing down my #husband101 thoughts all over the internet via a semi-active Twitter account for a while now. The funny thing about the internet is you never really know what sticks, but just the other day I was having a chat with a friend who confirmed for me that there may be valuable insight, cloaked inside some of my ramblings, specifically for other young men like me, who did not have an older brother to follow into matrimony.
You see the first lesson of matrimony, in my experience, is that the two independent forces that once existed have to now find some way to coexist as one. It’s foreign to the very independent nature of us human beings. Some people like to say, “…I was only half the man/woman before I met my mate…,” but that is factually inaccurate. Before you met your boo/girl/life partner/soul mate… you were a living and functioning human being. You were a One. You met another One and now you hope to be a part of ONE together.
This is not new math by a long shot. “Modern marriages” have been on the thing to do list for centuries and the ceremony usually includes some symbol of “joining together.” Whether it is the unity flame, or the “new new” the unity sand in the same container, all of these things serve the same purpose – to show that sometimes one plus one really does equal one.
Here is the tip – as you continue to push your relationship to the next level ask yourself the honest and hard questions. Are you taking the lesson from the flames? Are you committing fully, pouring all your sand in the jar? Or are you keeping some of the flame for yourself?
Joe
